Wheel Of Consent Practice Space - Agreements
This class is about practicing the Wheel of Consent, which happens in tuning in to your experience, practice choosing, and sharing what you are noticing about yourself. It’s our intention to create a safer space so that you can have the experience you want to have.
Tending this space is a collective responsibility, and we offer the following rules of engagement to support group participation and learning:
How we ask that you engage with each other:
- Have your video on for the start (so we all get to connect with and see who is present)
- Confidentiality — outside the group share only your own experience and learning; do not share the names or personal experiences of others in the group. Please situate your computer so that others in your home are not able to see the screen or hear the conversation.
- No personal recording or screen shots.
- Feelings are welcome and do not need to be justified or explained; honor the feelings that arise in others by allowing them to feel without fixing or advising.
- When sharing, speak from your personal experience using ‘I’ statements (eg. I feel, I notice, I’m experiencing, etc.). This helps each of us to notice and take responsibility for our own experience, and to avoid speaking in generalized ways on behalf of people or groups.
- Use the names and pronouns people request, and honor the lived experience of those in the group. Be willing to stay open and free of assumptions about people's identities and experiences (eg. regarding gender, race, sexual orientation, etc).
- Group limits for exercises: we will not make requests or offers for unclothed, genital, or explicitly sexual touch during exercises.
What we invite for your own experience:
- Invite beginner’s mind — whether you are newer to the Wheel of Consent or have studied and experimented for years, there is always more to learn! Everything we offer is an experiment and an opportunity to notice yourself.
- Participation can look many ways and you choose how you want to participate — actively join an exercise, witness, journal, take a break, turn your camera off, and change your mind at any time!
- Self-care and nervous system regulation — take care of your needs for water, toilet, etc; if there is something specific you need, can you find a way to ask for it?
- As much as you can, become aware of when you are in your learning zone (comfortable discomfort) and when you are pushed beyond (overwhelm). Notice what you need to step in and out of your learning zone — take a break, move your body, express something to the group, etc.
As facilitators of this group, we will hold to these guidelines and we will remind you of them as needed.
We also acknowledge that we are imperfect beings and we will all make mistakes. Our ‘come from’ is humility and goodwill.
We reserve the right to ask you to leave the practice space if they feel you are consistently or deliberately breaking the agreements for how we request we engage with each other.
Acknowledgments About Race
This space is open to anyone interested in learning the Wheel, and our intention is for this to be a safer space that is inclusive. However, we recognize that this offering will not meet everyone’s needs. Many of the facilitators leading these sessions will be white-conditioned, white-privileged instructors and the demographics of the participants may be predominantly white. We feel that it is responsible to name that our capacity to provide a safe and supportive learning experience for BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and people of color) is limited by our whiteness. And, as facilitators and as humans, we are committed to unlearning and waking up to the ways in which we are unconscious of racism and participate in its patterns so that we may better serve our community.