Whatever the nature of your work – and whether you work with touch or without - creating choice is one of the key ways the Wheel Of Consent can support your clients to step into a deeper and richer experience with you.

Even something as seemingly simple as the language you use can be a key part of this.
How you invite your client to participate can make a big difference in how deeply they can step in.

Who is it for?

Being really clear about who it’s for plays an essential part.

It can be common for practitioners or professionals to say things like:

• I want you to…
• I’m going to put my hand here…

These automatically imply that there’s something you want as the practitioner, rather than asking what the client wants.

Of course there may be times when you need something to happen in order for you to be able to do your job well. But even here, you can give more choice to your client:

Instead of saying ‘I want you to…’ you can say ‘In order for me to do what you want, I’ll need you to… how would that be for you?’

Is it OK?

Even saying ‘is this OK?’, once you’ve started something, is likely to result in the default answer of ‘yes’, because your client will tend to defer to you, especially when the process is already under way.

A simple reframe would be to say ‘How is this?’ – which creates more opportunity for your client to let you know if there’s anything that’s not working for them.

It’s subtle but it makes a difference!

Here are some other ways you can use your words to check in, at various stages, in ways which will give your client more choice:

• Where do you want me positioned? / Where do you want my hand to be?
• Are you ready to start? / Are you ready for touch?
• How long do you want this for?
• How is this pressure/speed?
• Is there anything which would feel even better?

Beyond your words there are other ways you can create choice in your work, both for your clients and for yourself, at all stages of your working process: from first contact, to during your sessions.

Check out Betty Martin explaining how to use a ‘tree of options’ to offer your clients what they have skills for. https://www.schoolofconsent.org/tree-of-options